Friday, 19 August 2011

10 Things about my life, you didn't know.

This is a list of 10 things you probably didn't know about my life. Some of them are my fears, dislikes, routine, or family.

1. Large arching bridges.

It started a couple of years ago. I have a tough time driving over these things and will avoid them if I can. I can't explain it. I can ride over as a passenger just fine, but when I'm driving it's a different story. My vision goes tunnel, my mouth cotton dry, and my hands get clammy. I shake, have trouble breathing, and tune out anything that's happening inside the vehicle. It never used to be like this. I once, driving back from Burnaby, saw the Port Mann off in the distance, took the wrong exit and ended up on Annacis Island in South Delta to avoid the bridge. Fucked up, I know. Recently, I took the ferry from Nanaimo to North Van, and had to take the 2nd Narrows to Burnaby. Slightly better than the Lions Gate, but still got the shakes. And I drive professionally for a living!

I think it has something to do with my son, because I didn't feel this way before he was born.

2. Kole's bedtime security toy(s)

Most kids have a special toy, or item they bring to bed. Not my son. Every night it's something different. In the picture he has "Legoman" "Bob" and an empty iced tea bottle. Others include, spatula, cup, pen lid, toy car, letter magnet, puzzle piece. The list goes on. Tonight, he brought with him, a hot wheels car, a penny, and an inflated balloon that I brought home from ICBC. We tried introducing a stuffed giraffe, but he doesn't care. Whatever works I guess.

3. Melissa has 2 uvulas.

Ok. So this isn't about me. But I did say some of this things were family related. They're 10 things about my life, and Melissa and Kole are part of it.

Yup, this is a real picture of the inside of Melissa's mouth. She has 2 Uvulas. That is all.

4. Escalators.

Like bridges, I have a rough time with moving stairs. It's not as bad as the bridges, but I still have to focus each time I step onto one. Again, this is a new thing. A few years ago, I would have walked blindly onto an escalator. Backwards. Now I watch each foot and time it perfectly as I step onto it. Is this normal? When you get older, do everyday things start fucking with your psyche? Good thing I use the escalators at Walmart regularly to keep me in shape.

I just realized how that last sentence must sound.

5. Stove dials.

So. If you were to ignore a few of the last things. I would consider myself to be a pretty normal dude. I. Turn my stove dials in a clockwise motion from "off" to "max" as it is a shorter distance to travel and the dial allows it to do so.

Melissa on the other hand, can only turn the dial counter clockwise, going from "off" to "low" through to "med" then to "max". She refuses to turn the dial in a manner that would require less turning and essentially less work.

6. Same breakfast.

Since I moved back to Victoria over 5 years ago, I have been eating the same breakfast. Hard boiled eggs and oatmeal. Everyday. I boil 3 eggs for 10 minutes. It makes the perfect hard boiled egg. 8 minutes will give you the perfect soft boiled egg. I had a stint where I was doing soft boiled with toast. But I have perfected the ratio of cinnamon, sugar, and raisins in my oatmeal and see no reason to change as it gives me the best energy to start the day. Weekends sometimes offer variety of bacon or sausages.

7. Spread toes.

Spread toes are just plain fucking wrong.

I have hammer toes, and cannot spread them.
Melissa and Kole on the other hand can park a friggin' bike in between their feet digits. She likes to parade her talent all up in my face, and I don't like it.

8. English muffin holes.

This has been something that has bothered me for years. The tiny little holes in pastry like english muffins. I always look at it like tiny holes in human flesh. I don't know why, but it's been this way since I was kid. I imagine what my arm would look like with these tiny circumference yet cavernous holes. This doesn't ruin eggs benny for me, I just shutter a little bit when I see them.

9. Brown Paper Towels.
For some, it's nails on a chalkboard.
For me, it's nails on brown paper towels.

I use them, all the time. But if I were to drag my nails across them, I get a huge shiver. I've mentioned to this before to people, and they all have the same response....

"That's just fucking weird, dude."

I can't be the only one!

10. Feel good moments in kids movies.

Since becoming a parent, I have endured a fair amount of childrens T.V programming and movies. What I noticed during the 101th time that I watched the Chipmunks, "The Squeakquel", is that I got a little emotional. Now, you would think that after even just 20 mins of this film that you wouldn't give a shit. But I was watching it with Kole one day, and when Alvin flew in with the Chipettes on a remote helicopter at the end to save the show, I got that feel good feeling inside. They might as well have cured cancer and saved Chritsmas at the same time.
And of course any movie where there is a father/son moment, I get a little emotional too.

Aging does shit to you.

So there you have it. 10 things about my life that you probably didn't know.

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